On The Road With Ramona: ramonasworld

Showing posts with label ramonasworld. Show all posts

😝The Calling...

I awoke with a heart beating with a combination of excitement and nervousness. Today was the day I would do something I have been wanting to do for a while. Today was the day I would strike another thing off my bucket list. Today was the day I was going to do the only thing I had planned to do on this trip to Rajasthan. Today was the day of my calling.

They say (and I quote the Qawwali sung right there at this magical site), 'Man ki Muraad paate hai Khawaja ke sheher mein. Taqdeer wale aate hain Khawaja ke Sheher mein. Irade roz bante hain aur ban ke toot jaate hain. Wohi Ajmer aate hain, jinhe Kawaja bulaate hain. Mujhe aapne bulaya Khawaja, yeh karam nahin toh kya hain...'
(Roughly translated: Wishes are granted in the city of Khawaja. Those that are lucky/destined to, come to the city of Khawaja. Intented promises are made daily and broken after they are made. Only those that are summoned by Khawaja, come to Ajmer. You have beckoned me Khawaja, what is this if not fate..)

And this city of Khawaja, is called Ajmer. Today, I was going to the Ajmer Sharif Dargah. As most people believe, no matter how badly you want to go there, how hard you try or how long you have waited to go there; until you get a 'bulawa' (calling from Khawaja Sahib or the Holy Forces that be) - you will just not be able to go there. He calls you when the time for you to visit is right.

Now I'm far from religious or superstitious, but this I do believe, as I have experienced it myself many times. The timing of Islam re-entering my life, sufism making a sudden entry into my life through magical ways, this entire spontaneous trip, friends I hadn't had contact with in a while, popping out of nowhere, offering me help with places to stay, people to connect with, people taking to me as if they've known me forever, strangers throughout being so loving, helpful and kind to me - no matter how rich or poor, Ajmer being en route from my 'accidental' Udaipur detour to Jaipur etc etc was nothing short of miraculous.

Everything just fit and kept falling into place too perfectly - like the pieces of an intricate jigsaw puzzle that I was only just beginning to have a tiny glimpse of! It really felt like all the forces of the Universe collected to bring me here, at this time, on this day. So I accept that I am a child of the Universe, open to spirituality, open to the belief that certain things cannot be explained, but I will not give into the trappings of religious musts and must-nots, because those are all man made to instill fear in the hearts of men and not allow any place for logic or intelligence.

My now dear friend Jay, set it all up. Right after breakfast, a rickshaw picked us up. Our approach to the Ajmer Sharif Dargah left me amazed and amused- the streets are so narrow, I was unable to fathom how they were used as 2 way streets. The rickshaw stopped at a certain point and we had to get out and walk. The streets were SO crowded, it was crazy!!! In my mind, I had imagined this to be a very quiet, remote place in the middle of nowhere - much to my surprise, it turned out to be the exact opposite!

We walked amongst what looked like thousands of people and met our Khadim. We picked up baskets of offerings and my journey to my 'Bulawa' thus began. He took us in, guided us around the place, told us what to do and I even got my own special time to sit and do dua and say special prayers for a whole list of people. I had actually spent the past couple of days writing down names of people in my diary and ended up with 4 long pages of names to read out. Some that knew I was there asked me to do dua for them, but most people didn't know where I was and that I did dua for them too. I also said a little prayer for everyone in the world, known and unknown to me; I asked for forgiveness for the times I may have hurt any form creation, in this lifetime or past, intentionally or unintentionally. And above all else, I forgave myself. For the numerous times I actually caused my own self pain.

Forgive me for not adding more details about the magic of this place, what I did there and the unexpected miracle I experienced after, as I believe that is something deeply personal between Khawaja Sahib and me. That is also why I am not attaching many photos to this blog.

But I shall end with dua for you all and express my gratitude to each one of you that follows me, supports me and reads my blogs:
'May He shower his choicest blessings upon you, may your life be filled with endless love and peace. May you have good health and share your happiness with the lives you touch - be it for a fleeting moment or a lifetime.'

The approach to the Ajmer Sharif Dargah.

My dearest Jay and me...

Hello India,

I write and speak straight from my heart. I am no one, just an ordinary citizen writing to you... my fellow citizens - old, young, rich, poor, Hindu, Musilim, Jew, Brahmin, Dalit whatever... I hope I can touch you and make you believe in everything I feel and believe.

I write this from a purely human and emotional space after going through, seeing and hearing different stories from so many girlfriends of mine about abuse, threats, violence and teasing. It leaves me shocked, numb, upset, angry and in fear. Fear that it could just as easily have been me. So bear with me.

Yes, India has a corrupt government, the police, municipal corporations are understaffed, not motivated and justice - it may come but it'll take at least a decade thanks to the backlog. So yes, India has problems. Big, major, serious problems. But then again, which country doesn't? Who in the world doesn't have problems?

I'm not justifying it or supporting it. Thing is, what are YOU - in your capacity - as a citizen of a country with so many problems doing about these problems? It's easy to feel like your hands are tied. I've felt like that a million times. I often think of how tedious a process it will be to clean and fix things, for some sort of change and order to come about - and I confess I sometimes feel like saying forget it, let me just get the hell out of here so I don't need to deal with this anymore. No one cares, if they want to rot, let them. That maybe its best I just keep living in my own little bubble to have some peace. But then again, I can't. It is my country. If I want a change, I have to be the change. In my own way, in my own capacity. And it will take time.

If we look at the all the negatives and then also balance things out and look at the positives, we will find there are TONS! So many amazing selfless people, giving up their careers to help others, others volunteering and helping. I have been fortunate enough to meet just a handful.

I recently met Sonal from Magic Bus India. What a lovely lady. Once heading Channel V, she's now given up her career to help our children. Her argument is we have the infrastructure in our country, we have laws but no one bothers to know what they are, how we can improve things, what our basic rights are even! In this respect, she has opened my eyes for which I am truly grateful.

Magic Bus has been doing great work - read up on them. See how they are using sports to teach children who do not come from posh backgrounds about gender sensitivity, treating women as equals, manners, politeness, hygiene etc. Its amazing! Read about Mathew Spacie. A foreigner doing SO much wonderful work - again giving up his job for Indias' children, Indias' future, Indias' development as a 'whole society'. If you want to go play football or whatever with kids and brighten their day, see how they are taught about life through sports just go to any one of their 12 centres across India. (http://www.magicbus.org)

Apoorva from No Nasties is another amazing soul. The farmer suicides in Maharashtra bothered him so much, he quit his job and started an organization that makes Tshirts custom made that everyone - you, me, every company can customize prints for. I can personally vouch for the quality, color and feel of these Tshirts. If you can't be activley involved , go buy a Tshirt from them. Sacrifice a coffee with your friends and just do it!! (www.nonasties.in)

There's Muktangan who are trying to change the way children are educated in government schools. Amazing selfless people devoting their time and skills to help children and parents learn and grow. If you sing, play an instrument, paint or have a skill, just go to one of their schools and spend 2 hours there showing it off and inspiring their kids. (http://www.muktanganedu.org/www/)

There a million other stories, people and organisations that are doing a lot of good. But they need to be backed. They need our support.

The biggest problem in our country is education. The lack of it and the way in which it is given. Everyone knows the 2 biggest influences in our country are Bollywood and Cricket.

So when one is in a powerful position to influence others & can make a difference on a larger scale, one HAS to be nothing less than responsible. It is disappointing to see the kind of messages sent out - maybe not directly by them, but via them as at the end of the day, it is their names that are on the project. I'm referring to the outcry about RaginiMMS2 and its official FB page.

I reacted and was most upset when I first saw it too. But I've had time to think about it - I'm guessing being as busy as she is, Ms. Kapoor has a marketing team that has been hired to take care of the content. I'm sure Ms. Kapoor must not be aware of the things being written on the page by her marketing team, because as a woman, a citizen and a human, I refuse to believe that she could allow something like this to be written. Especially at a time where a verdict is the topic of discussion for a horrific sexual crime and the Mahalaxmi gang rape amongst others is still fresh in our minds. Besides, there's no denying she is an intelligent, smart, educated and well brought up person from a good home.

The text, seems to be encouraging men to 'tease her' 'being a little flirty won't hurt' and that 'a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste. So, use it'. THAT is what is atrocious! The pictures are fine, lingerie is fine and being sexy, feeling sexy is all great. I have no issues with pornography even.

Theres another pic on www.facebook.com/RanginiMMS2Official that says 'Fear is the new sexy'.

NO!!!!!!! Nothing about fear is sexy! And yes its a horror film and a sexy film but you cannot combine the two to create tag lines like these!!! We know the demographic that is being targeted with these pictures & accompanying texts - they will think its fun and cool to instil fear in a woman - that women want it!! We do NOT!

We do NOT want men to use their dirty minds - hasn't every woman suffered enough for that?

Is it not possible to have tag lines that are separate, instead of trying to use fear and sexy together? For example: 'Sexy has a whole new meaning' for one and 'Get ready to scream' for another etc. I'm not a copy person but you get the gist.

So please Ms. Kapoor, there are countless selfless souls who have given up careers, and lives to put in hours of hard work for education, awareness & gender sensitivity. Without keeping a check on what your team is doing, there is a very serious and horrid message reaching the lesser educated people, endangering the lives and safety of even more women. And with the reach and power of Bollywood, this message just erases all of the hard work and sacrifice these amazing souls have made and keep making.

Change starts with each one of us. You, me, mother, father, brother sister, aunt, uncle, friend, lover, child. Let us all be responsible, a little more alert, a little more attentive to the things we say or do. We live in a land where most people aren't taught, they don't know better and are easily influenced (Eg: Asaram). We can help and as educated citizens of this beautiful land, it is our responsibility to reach out & help each other in the smallest possible way.

Let us all take baby steps... all of us together. For Indias' sake, for our sake. Anything, in any capacity is a start. I have faith and I love my country.

Thank you for reading this, I know it was a loooong one.

R xoxo

12th September 2013, Mumbai.

Udaipur - Kumbhalgarh ... Thoughts

I left Udaipur with a mind full of questions, a heart full of love and a soul seeking answers. As I watched the stone houses, little villages and dry landscape pass me by, I wondered if I could give up my life, my friends, my family, my work and my everyday existence which would seem like a luxury to these villagers. I mean, I've done it before. It's hard but it's not impossible to do.

I've always been someone thats followed her heart and been extremely passionate. But would I be able to live in a village? Live the 'daily' life that my fellow brothers and sisters live? I have no doubt I will make new friends, be a part of a new family, get some kind of work and have a roof over my head. But will I be able to fully embrace this life and adapt to it? They say its easy adjust to rising over falling. Would this be falling? It would mean cutting down on lots of things that I have grown used to: breaking habits. Would I be happy? That is something I'm not sure of. But then am I really happy where I am? I am grateful. I am content. But I don't know that I could say that I am happy. Are any of us?

The more we have, the more we want. It's human nature. But what if all we have are the basics? That'd require a whole new set of survival skills and psychology to be able to accept it and live with it. Maybe what I needed was balance. To be close enough to understand their ways and provide help, to be far enough to be able to keep doing the work I know how to do best (so I can be of more help too). But then again where does one start? How do you pick one problem when there are a million? I'm equally passionate about all the following causes:

- educating children without our non sensical, out dated educational system where you are smart if you remember things word for word like a parrot. Let them learn through projects, experience, music, art, sport, research... letting them learn to open their minds and ask questions.
- clean water for all and environmental awareness - saving water, recycling, using alternative sources for electricity.
- the fight between villagers and forests, conserving our wild life, putting an end to poaching.
- animal rights.
- creating work opportunities for people in their villages so they are not forced to leave their homes and over populate the big cities.
- 'proper' health care for all.
- adult education - teaching farmers better techniques, organic farming, teaching them to stand up for themselves and be self sufficient, teach them to think of long term benefits and not just short term relief, teach them about civic sense and cleanliness.
- womens' rights, their empowerment and safety.

If I gave up my life and worked for all these causes, would it make me happy? Maybe happiness is over-rated. Maybe we give it too much importance. Happiness comes and goes. Maybe the Zen like state, is that of simply being content. Happiness and sadness come and go - its a cycle that never ends. But to be detached from both is the key.

So as I reached the massive walls of the ever so humongous and jaw dropping Mewar Fortress called - Kumbhalgarh Fort, I decided to try that out. To be content with where I am, who I am and the situation I am currently in. No expectations. To see the blessings around me. To accept I may not be able to do all the things I want to to help, but that I had taken a step in that direction, so I must be on the right path. I may not know yet what it is I will do, but it's okay. I don't have to have all the answers immediately. It will come when it has to.

As of now, this moment, noon, peak heat season in Rajasthan, I decided I was going to lose myself in the magic, beauty and magnanimity of my surroundings: the birthplace of Maharana Pratap Singh. How insane to have built this in the 15th Century! How did they possibly climb up and down with all their heavy swords, attire and gear? So much wonder and amazement!

I kept climbing higher, the sun shone upon me with all its might and I loved every single minute of it. I, by myself, with myself had such a fantastic time. Here's a few pictures... hope you have a good time seeing them too.

Udaipur... An Awakening

I awoke happily, had a light breakfast and made my way towards Gangaur Ghat Road. I walked through the narrow and rather empty alleys and winding streets, admiring the little old buildings, shops and carts.

I was rather surprised at how friendly the locals were. Everyone smiled and said 'hello, how are you?'. People on bikes would wave, even rickshaw drivers passing by would smile and wave. I'm used to being thought of as a foreigner in India but this was different. None of them actually bothered me, followed me or pestered me to buy anything. There was no ulterior motive. They were just happy and being friendly. It suddenly occurred to me, perhaps I was jaded, that this was the warm and friendly India people speak of. The smiles that touch your heart. And that this is the essence of my India. It's too damn bad a few rotten apples have taken advantage of this good natured kindness of the general public bringing this beautiful and rich country to ruin, poverty and shame. Anyway, I decided to enjoy it, so I took full advantage of it, smiled, waved back and said hi!

I stopped at a street shop to buy me some water and chocolate. The shop keeper and a few old men sitting around were surprised to hear me speak in Hindi. They were fascinated, wanted to know where I was from and why I chose to learn Hindi. And they made their best efforts to ask me all of this in English. They refused to believe I was Indian, telling them I was from Mumbai didn't convince them either. Some ten minutes later, I blurted out a lie. I told them I was from Mumbai but then married a man in Jaipur, where we've been living for years. That seemed agreeable to them, they now understood why I speak Hindi. I smiled at the simplicity of it. Little did I know, I'd be using this little lie of convenience through out my trip - even answering the whereabouts of my husband at this moment, if he misses me, if he didn't have a problem with me traveling for a weekend without him, our children etc. This fantasy world of Rajasthan just stepped up a notch - and how!!!

After bidding them adieu, a few metres down, I saw this very pretty white kurta. I'd been looking for one so I walked into the little shop. The shop keeper turned out to be a sweet, chatty chap who is a devout Sai Baba follower and tells me of his excitement to make his 15th odd trip to Shirdi. I bought the kurta and a bangle, wished him well with an 'Om Sai Ram'. Delighted, he wished me a good trip and he pointed me in the direction of the Jagdish Temple.

Ah the Jagdish Temple. I walked in through the side entrance, was amazed at the carved structure, as I bowed down and prayed to the mini shrines on the four corners of the complex. I wanted to enter the main Temple but thought it best to check if women were allowed lest I offend anyone. The watchman told me (in broken English again) that I'm free to enter. The moment that followed, made Udaipur truly magical for me.

She stood there looking at me, skinny with a big smile, all of 7 years, wanting to take me in herself. Her name was Manisha. I introduced myself and she looked at my camera. I clicked a picture of us and showed it to her. She was so tickled! She held my hand and took me into the temple. Made me sit below a picture of Shiva and Parvati. There was a satsang going on, I felt blessed to be a part of it. Manisha went and got 2 sets of bells for us to contribute to the hymns. She said so much, I didn't understand everything. She fascinated me, amused me... I just wanted to hold her in my arms and hug her. And then, I burst into tears. I felt such a rush of love and care for her. I feared for her, wondered if she was safe, what her life is like, what her future would be like. Would she have opportunities? Would she get an education? How long before she'd be married off? Would she have the chance to bloom and blossom? I prayed hard to God to protect her, keep her spirit alive and happy, to never let the sparkle in her eyes fade. She looked at me. I didn't want her to see me crying. I opened my bag, took out my chocolate and gave it to her. I took out some money and made a donation from her and me. I smiled and said good bye.

I walked down the stairs of the main entrance to the Temple, made my way to the spectacular City Palace (again so impeccably maintained with a great audio guide and very helpful and friendly staff). From there I proceeded to Machla Magra, on top which is Sunset Point and the Karni Mata Temple. You can reach the top by cable car, known as 'Ropeway'. It's a gorgeous spot with a breathtaking view over the entire city of Udaipur. A perfect sunset to bring a fabulous day to an end.

As I went to bed that night, I thought of Manisha. Where she was sleeping, what she ate for dinner, how I could protect her, how I could help her and then I thought of all the countless number of children in this country, just like her. And I wanted to scream at my government, lash out at them for not doing their duty and serving our land and its countrymen. Population control and education are essential requirements that go hand in hand for any sort of progress. The day every Indian person stops accepting things as 'destiny', 'fate', 'bad luck', 'Gods'will' and starts to use basic logic to question, is the day things will change and the 'mighty' will fall. And they know that. The powerful Taliban knew that too, why else would they feel so threatened by a little girl?

Will things ever change? I don't know, no one does for sure. But I've realized that is not the question. The question is, can I make a change? How can I, in my capacity, make a difference? What can I do to help people? My search for the answer thus begins...