On The Road With Ramona: rajasthan

Showing posts with label rajasthan. Show all posts

Understanding love and attachment...

There wasn't much to do in Ajmer besides visit the Ajmer Sharif Dargah. Well that's what I'd have thought if not for some 20 odd people insisting I see this institution, this legendary landmark they call their Almamater. And so, I did just that. I went to Mayo.

As it turns out, I had a few friends from my college days that were in Mayo, but the number of friends I'd had for years that also turned out to be Mayoites was an insane surprise! Add to that, all the new friends I made on my journey so far, who were also obviously Mayoites. I didn't realise until that moment, that my life was suddenly full of them! Every single one of them without exception, so passionate about their boarding school, swearing love, loyalty and allegiance to it - far more than I've ever had the pleasure of receiving from all the men in my life! Jokes apart though, it intrigued me. What was all the fuss about? What was up with the attachment the boys - regardless of age, have with this place? Why this desperate need for me to go see what at the end of the day, is a school?

I think for once, my pictures will speak more than my words... but then I don't really think my pictures did justice capturing the elaborance, serenity and magnanimity of it all. From the grand enterance to the grand main building to the grand golf course to the grand everything - this place was grand!!! I'm not sure I've said it enough...grand!!!

The students were home on holiday so I was given a VIP tour around every single inch of the huge school campus and its premises. I visited the dorms, the class rooms, the guest house, teachers quarters blocks, learnt of the history, the admission process, the uniforms, the prices and all the tons of amazing facilities this school had from horses and stables, indoor and outdoor pools, basketball and squash courts to cricket and football fields. Awestruck and dumb founded, my jaw hit the floor. I felt like I didn't have a real schooling and all this made me want to go back to school immediately or have that lie of convenience turn into a truth immediately, so that my (fictitious) son could be schooled there and there'd be no debate about it, since his (equally ficticious) Jaipuri father would certainly be a 3rd/4th generation Mayoite too! I was suddenly oh so envious of all my friends who studied here!!!

I was told of stories, mischief the boys got up to, the naughtiest batches and I visualised it all as we passed by peacocks and squirrels on the numerous, extensive and impeccably manicured gardens and lawns. I even sat on that famous marble bench that every Mayo boy will know of.

I was really thrilled all my Mayoite friends pushed me to go visit it, dissing my whole 'but its so random' attitude. I now get why they are so attached to it, why they talk of it so fondly, why they are like a secret brotherhood, why no matter what - their children will always follow suit and be admitted there; why they boast of being a 5th or 6th generation Mayoite, why they have so much pride. I left Mayo thoroughly impressed, my Mayoite friends all gloating and beaming as my phone beeped non-stop with curiosity, during and after the visit.

I stood corrected - this certainly wasn't 'just another school'. Besides the obvious beauty, it was these 3 hours that seemed to transcend all dimensions of time. The past kept flowing in and out of an imaginary future, as I breathed in the cool, fresh air, alive and totally aware in every moment of the now.

So if you're in Ajmer, do go visit here too - trust me you won't regret it, especially if you have someone like Ripudaman Singh to show you around, like I did. And if you have a son, you should seriously consider sending him here to Mayo, he'll thank you and me for it.

😝The Calling...

I awoke with a heart beating with a combination of excitement and nervousness. Today was the day I would do something I have been wanting to do for a while. Today was the day I would strike another thing off my bucket list. Today was the day I was going to do the only thing I had planned to do on this trip to Rajasthan. Today was the day of my calling.

They say (and I quote the Qawwali sung right there at this magical site), 'Man ki Muraad paate hai Khawaja ke sheher mein. Taqdeer wale aate hain Khawaja ke Sheher mein. Irade roz bante hain aur ban ke toot jaate hain. Wohi Ajmer aate hain, jinhe Kawaja bulaate hain. Mujhe aapne bulaya Khawaja, yeh karam nahin toh kya hain...'
(Roughly translated: Wishes are granted in the city of Khawaja. Those that are lucky/destined to, come to the city of Khawaja. Intented promises are made daily and broken after they are made. Only those that are summoned by Khawaja, come to Ajmer. You have beckoned me Khawaja, what is this if not fate..)

And this city of Khawaja, is called Ajmer. Today, I was going to the Ajmer Sharif Dargah. As most people believe, no matter how badly you want to go there, how hard you try or how long you have waited to go there; until you get a 'bulawa' (calling from Khawaja Sahib or the Holy Forces that be) - you will just not be able to go there. He calls you when the time for you to visit is right.

Now I'm far from religious or superstitious, but this I do believe, as I have experienced it myself many times. The timing of Islam re-entering my life, sufism making a sudden entry into my life through magical ways, this entire spontaneous trip, friends I hadn't had contact with in a while, popping out of nowhere, offering me help with places to stay, people to connect with, people taking to me as if they've known me forever, strangers throughout being so loving, helpful and kind to me - no matter how rich or poor, Ajmer being en route from my 'accidental' Udaipur detour to Jaipur etc etc was nothing short of miraculous.

Everything just fit and kept falling into place too perfectly - like the pieces of an intricate jigsaw puzzle that I was only just beginning to have a tiny glimpse of! It really felt like all the forces of the Universe collected to bring me here, at this time, on this day. So I accept that I am a child of the Universe, open to spirituality, open to the belief that certain things cannot be explained, but I will not give into the trappings of religious musts and must-nots, because those are all man made to instill fear in the hearts of men and not allow any place for logic or intelligence.

My now dear friend Jay, set it all up. Right after breakfast, a rickshaw picked us up. Our approach to the Ajmer Sharif Dargah left me amazed and amused- the streets are so narrow, I was unable to fathom how they were used as 2 way streets. The rickshaw stopped at a certain point and we had to get out and walk. The streets were SO crowded, it was crazy!!! In my mind, I had imagined this to be a very quiet, remote place in the middle of nowhere - much to my surprise, it turned out to be the exact opposite!

We walked amongst what looked like thousands of people and met our Khadim. We picked up baskets of offerings and my journey to my 'Bulawa' thus began. He took us in, guided us around the place, told us what to do and I even got my own special time to sit and do dua and say special prayers for a whole list of people. I had actually spent the past couple of days writing down names of people in my diary and ended up with 4 long pages of names to read out. Some that knew I was there asked me to do dua for them, but most people didn't know where I was and that I did dua for them too. I also said a little prayer for everyone in the world, known and unknown to me; I asked for forgiveness for the times I may have hurt any form creation, in this lifetime or past, intentionally or unintentionally. And above all else, I forgave myself. For the numerous times I actually caused my own self pain.

Forgive me for not adding more details about the magic of this place, what I did there and the unexpected miracle I experienced after, as I believe that is something deeply personal between Khawaja Sahib and me. That is also why I am not attaching many photos to this blog.

But I shall end with dua for you all and express my gratitude to each one of you that follows me, supports me and reads my blogs:
'May He shower his choicest blessings upon you, may your life be filled with endless love and peace. May you have good health and share your happiness with the lives you touch - be it for a fleeting moment or a lifetime.'

The approach to the Ajmer Sharif Dargah.

My dearest Jay and me...

Holy Surprises!

As I walked up and down the narrow streets I knew so well, I found it comforting that not much seemed to have changed. I could describe Pushkar in one word - beautiful, but a whole bunch of words even, would not be able to describe the kind of calm and release it brings to my soul. I made my way down to one of the many Ghats. I walked along the lake and sat on the steps a little distance away from a Sadhu who seemed to be oblivious to the world around him.

I took in deep, long breaths; sat and sat and sat... I started to think about how this trip to Rajasthan worked out, how everything had been falling into place - almost like it was something that had been pre planned - destined. I slipped in and out of my past: how much I have been through in my life, how I've managed to survive these past few years especially. I was amazed and almost proud of my own strength. Sure I've broken down, bawled for days on end, whined even to a few close friends who sat patiently and listened, prayed to a God or anybody out there. I thought of the people that today are in my heart, of how much I have to be grateful for despite everything. Thoughts then shifted to the future: what I am doing with my life, what is left for me to do, how am I going to support myself, what do I truly want out of life, will I ever have a family of my own, will I be a workaholic... I had no answers.

I decided to go to the Brahma Temple. It's the only one in the world. Walking there I got stopped by 2 women - sisters with a sweet little baby boy Ronak. He was all smiles and just reached out for me. I took him into my arms and he held my cheek, looking at me. He was adorable and I was in love. This little child was so at home with me, you'd never think this was the first time we met. Some twenty minutes later, his mom had to leave. He held on to my finger super tight, which he only let go off once I handed him my chocolate. I clicked a picture of them and carried on towards the Brahma Temple.

Tons of little shops before the Temple sell you baskets of offerings, you can chose if you want to spend Rs.50 or Rs.100 on them. I told the guy to give me one for Rs.100. I was also told I had to leave my slippers and bags with them in one of their wooden boxes with locks. So I did, armed with a key and my basket of offerings I walked up the stairs, amidst tons of people that seemed to have come out of nowhere.

There was a long horizontal queue (as is the norm in India). The priest looked like a slightly irritable robot, mechanically taking baskets of offerings, sorting out what stayed by the idol and did it at the speed of light. I had time to observe him since everyone just kept on butting in and breaking the 'queue'. Never did he stop - not to wipe the sweat off his forehead, nor to look up at anyone, let alone speak to anyone. My turn finally came and he took my basket exactly like did with everyone else, except whilst handing it back, he stopped. He held it in his hand, looked at me and told me somethings. I was taken aback because 1. he spoke 2. the nature of the things he said. We had an exchange of dialogue as I didn't quite understand what I was meant to do with the instructions he gave me. Despite people pushing and shoving their offerings towards him, I felt and heard nothing... it was almost as if time had stopped and it was just him and me there. He finally said to me 'I had to give you this message is all I know, how you want to interpret it and what you do with it is not my problem, I've done what I was meant to, now you do whatever you want to'. With that he shoved my basket back into my hands, head down again and was back in robot mode. I was still in shock and kept looking at him to see if he did this with anyone else. He didn't. I later asked a friend who is a local and she too was most surprised saying in all her years, she's never seen him speak to anyone, never to her either.

I headed back to the Ghats. I saw a staircase - very dirty, broken that looked like it hadn't been used in years. No one seemed to be going up there. But something inside me kept gnawing at me to climb. To my surprise, it was a beautiful marble Temple - protected by the Government of India. As children next door were reciting shlokas and chanting I thought to myself - why can't they maintain anything in this country, especially something that is protected? It's so pretty, has such a serene & positive vibe, it's a shame people don't even know of this spot. But then, on second thought it's probably better this way, tucked away and still stays serenely sacred.

My friends' cousin called. She had arrived and was driving to Pushkar to meet me, have dinner with me and then take me back to her home in Ajmer. She asked me to meet her at one of Pushkars' sweetest spots - Sunset Cafe. We met, hit it off instantly and after enjoying one of the most beautiful sunsets of my life, walked the streets of Pushkar by night. She got me to taste my first malpuas (great for my palette, a catastrophe for my thighs). She then told me she had a surprise for me, said it was from my past but refused to tell me anymore.

Soon we were following a car, driving through some bumpy narrow roads in darkness broken by the cars' headlights. We got into a very pretty resort and from the car ahead of us, emerged a friend I hadn't seen or met in 17 years!! I couldn't believe it! It just so happened that he called her to ask what she was upto in the evening and she said she was looking after a friend of her cousin (who was also a part of the same group 17 years ago). She mentioned Ramona, he put two and two together and told her not to say a word, he'd surprise me. And boy did he! It turned out to be such an amazing dinner, we laughed, reminisced, reminded each other of stories, moments, people, caught up on who's doing what in life now...

I love it when life brings positive unexpected surprises my way. As my head touched the pillow that night, all I could feel was gratitude throbbing through every single vein in me. So much gratitude for this day, for this trip, for these people... I came to Pushkar alone, I left with 2 friends - one old, one new.

Now you know why I call Pushkar my magic place... OM!!! :)