And Thus The Journey Began...

Except for calling my mother (I'd never hear the end of it if I didn't) I didn't call or text anyone to say goodbye. Not even my closest friends to let them know I'm leaving. Can't fathom why but I didn't feel the need to let anyone know I was going to be gone... for almost a month!

Everything seemed smooth and normal as I gazed at the sunset and the beautiful cloud play happening outside the planes' window, completely clueless about what I was doing, where I was going to. I mean I'd been to Jaipur several times for work or in transit to Ranthambore, Pushkar etc but I'd never really explored or seen it. I told myself not to think, not to expect anything. I told the Universe that I've surrendered, I'm giving up and just flowing with life. I was keen to see where it'd take me.

I've been flying since I was a baby so turbulence, hard-hitting-landings, very-high-speed-landings or short-of-the-runways'-end-landings forcing the plane to take off again - don't really shake me. But this was new. The plane was cruising at normal speed, the crew started to make their 'we're about to start our descent' announcement when there was a sudden thrust, almost whiplash like and we were suddenly traveling at a crazy pace. The crew even stopped their announcement mid-way, passengers could feel the velocity as they looked at each other in silence, knowing this was not normal. The plane turned right, its nose heading towards gravity and I found the irony of it amusing, life was playing a joke on me - by ending my journey before it began.

But this time, it was okay, it didn't matter. I was easy with death. I felt like I had no regrets, that I did everything I wanted to, I had great friends, always followed my heart, finally got to be with the kind of man who loved me in the way I'd been praying for my whole life. Oh but the album? Meh... I figured it'd be released posthumously. I actually even thought to myself 'I bet it'll sell even more copies after I die'. I was at peace and happy with everything. 'I'm all yours to take life!' I thought, sitting on my window seat smiling calmly. But the passenger announcement resumed and somehow the plane slowed down again. Ten minutes later - touchdown Jaipur.

I didn't know what to make of that experience at first. But as all the passengers stood up in a hurry to exit, only to stand and wait all cramped in the isle for 15 minutes (a phenomenon I will NEVER comprehend), I sat in my seat and realized I really was free. I was about to embark on a journey with a genuine clean slate... I had truly let everything and everyone go, nothing mattered anymore. I was starting fresh, starting at zero. Something big, something magical was going to happen. This was going to be the point of change in my life. This trip was destined. This place was destined. This date was destined. This flight was destined.

As I walked down the isle (in the plane people, focus!), through the airport, to the pre-paid taxi counter; I was in a trance. None of the usual excitement to be in a new city, none of the usual basic research, no airport Lonely Planet shopping even. Just a simple feeling of deep relaxation, peace and contentment within, where all I could think and feel, was 'Aaah, I'm home'. I didn't care to question or analyze it. All I did, was accept and embrace it. As we say in Hindi, Jo hona so ho... (What will be, will be).
Leaving A Home I've known for a Home Unknown





8pm. 40°C. I don't know anything about you except that I'm home. Hello Jaipur.